Hash Trash #418, Wednesday 6-22-11

I’m hungover, Bend over, Rhymoceros. It was hot. We were hanging out in a parking lot. LOL No really it was.
I’m sure I’ll forget some names but here’s who showed…Hares Captain
Spewart and NFHN Byron, Stuff’d and Cuff’d, NFHN Matt, NFHN Casey, NFHN
Karen,Jackass, Charges when Horny, Green Nuts and Ham, LL Cumstain, In
God We Thrust and Kiddie Muncher. Also two late cummers at the end At
Ease On My Knees and Hummer Wrecker joined in. So hares were blessed and
sent upon there way. The packed followed shortly thereafter, after doing
our normal warmups to the singing of Father Abraham (Our hash horn
“Thrust” sounded us off). The trail lead us down many unexplored streets
in the Belmont area. There were hills, steps, railroad tracks, false
trails (after 6 plops, WTF thats just cruel) and even sand. The first BN
was at an old abandoned coal station. (There was a sweet bike back there
if anyone wants to go back and get it). We were all surprised to see the
check had not been stolen. It looked like a perfect hangout for the
homeless folk and or general Charlottesville riff raff. Anyway, we
enjoyed some Busch lights and Least Beasts and moved along. The pack was
disappointed when we ran into a false trail at the rivers edge, we were
hot and wanted to get wet. So we backtracked and found true trail. True
trail lead us through shiggy along the river where we had a song break.
(Oh, dick martini) Next BN was in a cemetary. Appropriately, we enjoyed
Rogue Dead Guy Ale and sangs songs about dead whores and necrophiliacs.
We poured some out for the homeys and pushed on. The final leg of the
hash was grueling, we were soaked without even going in the river.
Stuff’d and Cuff’d sang “Today is Monday is everyone happy” but his
front running ass was too far away for most of us to hear. We all got
back to circle safely and enjoyed numerous down downs. Our virgins and
not so virgins were given idian names. Welcome Princess sparkle, Am I
wet yet and Slut, Rut Rhymoceros. Next we called our co hare NFHN Byron
into circle and asked him a plethora of questions pertaining to his
privates and his private life. We sent him away and put on our thinking
caps (We drank more beer) Hereby and forevermore we have Thunder Chief,
OK everyone sing “Dirty deeds and the Thunder Chief, Dirty deeds and the
Thunder Chief” Congrats on getting your name finally. LOL We
wrapped up circle with some swing low and I sent the hashers in peace to
get a piece.
> May the hash live forever!!
>
> On-On, Kiddie Muncher
>

Hash Trash 393

#393
It all started like this…. I was drinking a refreshing Old Milwaukee Light and all of the sudden hashers from all over the place started showing up. I also had wankers on call waiting for directions just to give other wankers directions to where I was. A rundown of who showed, from my best memory, was this…
Motorcock
Wack and Vac
Stuff’d and Cuff’d
Cum and do Skipper
One hit her quit her
NFHN Milo
Green Nuts and Ham
NFHN Lee
Titz McGee
Lap Dog “Ruff”
ZamBONEme
St. Beatadick I
Mamma told me not to come “Flew in just for the hash…LOL”
Oh Brother where art thou
And me Kiddie Muncher…there might have been more, sorry if I forgot. Beer doesn’t help the memory.
 We gave the hare “Captain Spewart” a normal 15 minute head start. HEAD!! Who said head. Yadayadayada. The thirsty pack left out and immediately lost trail. WTF. OK we found it. We hashed trough shiggy and and slid down 10 ft embankments into a river where we found our first beer near. We all drink a cold refreshing beverage. Thank goodness I packed in a few extra beers. 
We then proceeded through the river for awhile. Motor tackled Green in the river but he did not spill the golden beverage. Some were fooled by false trails up river banks and such but most of the pack remained focused. Talks of leaches and Amazon penis fish came up while wading through the river. Fortunately I was not penetrated by any such creatures but I haven’t spoken with anyone else today. Up the river bank we went and then we went through the river once again with vicious hounds barking at us all the way. I watched NFHN Lee jump in the river and trip over a log. (He drank for that later) After a short jog we all drank some more beers at another Beer Near. There ZamBONEme then decided to call out all the male hashers by saying we should have our shirts off. Motorcock “as normal” proceeded to finish the trail in nothing but his bikini briefs. “This is quite a sight for those who haven’t witnessed it.” The next check was awesome!!! There was a bottle of Dom Perignon, a 50 yr old single malt scotch by Macallan and other delicious beverages. Unfortunately only three of us made it to the final check point as everyone else decided to shortcut back to the start. Sorry about your loss yall. In circle we called in virgins and visitors and were delighted with their down downs and songs “White House Hash Represent!!!” We wrapped it up with the normal Swing Low and we did a super fast version of Swing Low as well. “May the hash go in peace.” Long live the hash.
On-On, Kiddie Muncher

Hash Trash #383

5 Determined Hashers met up at the Rotunda on this sunny Sunday afternoon:
Green Nuts & Ham
Zamboneme
NFHN Tori
NFHN Katie
Stuffed & Cuffed

Green Nuts hared to the first beer check at Baja. Trail was short and the beer was cold. When Green asked if anyone wanted to hare the next leg Zamboneme took that as a challenge to find every bit of shiggy in a 3 block radius. The small pack ended up at 3 where they enjoyed more cold beverages and tater tots. Delicious!

Hash trash 381

(Do not miss the St Patty’s Day Pub Crawl Wed night!!! Details below this post)

Two solid days of rain led up to this wonderful trail promising much sneaker sopping mud and cold, swollen creeks.
We had virgins, visitors and backsliders
We had plenty of beer stops, shiggy, shortcutters, and lost, confused hashers
Someone chime in with details cause I missed most of the trail…

HASH TRASH 376

Wow. For those of you who made the decision to forego this run I can only say that you chose poorly. Not only was it one of the most gloriously beautiful days I have had the pleasure of hashing on, but it was just an all out fun pack and trail. The pack started with Captain Spewert ( with dog in tow) and Green Nuts. With the snow the day before we were not sure what kind of turnout to expect, but the roads were fine and show up they did. As the hashers poured out of the vehicles we were joined by a great group of mostly virgins. There was NFHN: Isabella, Tanya, Jessica, Renee, Rebecca, Mary, Julie, Meg and two dudes who I really cannot remember their names, but were cool. Three of them had heard about the hash and hashed while touring Europe with a modeling agency and the others were just some crazy friends they met at some club in Richmond the night before. The hash began at shelter #1 and I live hared across a field in six inches of Virgin snow. I really did not even have to use my blue chalk, all you had to do was follow my footprints. I took trail directly across the park, tthe railroad tracks and onto the golf course where I had two inner tubes and a thermos of hot chocolate and Baileys waiting on top of a hill. There I waited for the pack because I figured it would be fun to snow tube with everyone and I thank the hash Gods for that decision. I placed a slalom course of beers down the hill and when the pack arrived the fun began. It started as a cool beer check and led to …nearly the best check I have been involved with, second only to a jello wrestling check we once had at my house. I will not go into details, but I will simlpy say “clothing optional tubing ROCKS!!” those were some crazy hashers. After drinking the check dry I decided to run trail straight back to the shelter and start a kick ass fire in the fireplace where we dried what clothes did get wet and unfroze the frozen parts. During the circle I believe people drank for certain violations and things of that nature. We taught our new friends all of the songs and had some very spirited sing alongs. When ‘Swing Low’ eventually came the hash went in peace and the hash got a piece
Let’s hope these new hasher return. What a great day for a hash